forgetting to breathe - finding the center again
Thank you for being here today with this quiet little conversation, this place where I am holding a space for you to pause and engage with these thoughts, words and images
blues that feel like home
This week i had a moment where i forgot to breathe where the whelm went spinning careening headlong into overwhelm. i forgot how disorienting it is how destabilizing. a reminder of how things can so quickly spiral when i'm not being conscious of managing my energy.
It's at times like this i'm so grateful for the practices and resources gathered and received over the years to help myself. Grateful to my past self who committed to integrating these practices so that when the time comes i can slip easily in to their familiarity finding again the center, feeling back in to the place that supports and holds me
As i searched thru images looking for the ones to feature in this conversation, these blues spoke to me of home, not my physical home but more of a feeling of home: pale pastel soft blues inviting turquoises mid range blues deepening in to late day blues of the evening sky. the image of my tools reconnecting me with the gentle steps of my process choosing the next piece of cloth, shaping it to fit the pieces already in place, cutting, trimming and integrating it into the painting this over and over and over making that first layer of painting making the quiet rhythm for breathing and for slowing down
As always I look for ways to apply this both in my art practice and my life practice, looking for places where I can evolve in my processes and ways of moving through the world.
In situ image of middle ground
In answer to a question from a friend about where I'm putting into practice what I wrote about last time (about seeing things with an open fresh mind in the current context of life and all it holds, choosing no when it used to be yes, or conversely choosing yes when it used to be no), here are some areas where I am choosing differently from earlier versions of myself:
The marketing world's prescribed way to 'be successful' particularly in the performative area of social media and in 'brand messaging'
Societal, cultural and family of origin expectations
Releasing myself from making work that holds past work too preciously, choosing courage with new directions in my paintings
And as always, I want to express my gratitude to be living and working on the ancestral & unceded territories of the hən̓̓qəmin̓əm̓ and Sḵwx̱wú7mesh speaking peoples.I honour the incredible depths of grace, courage and perseverance of Indigenous Peoples, and look to them as an example as they find their voices amidst the noise and obfuscation of colonization.
until next time,
Mardell